Compared to Who?
After having a short conversation with some women I am well acquainted with on how their men view their relationship, it wasn’t to my surprise that the word “compare” came up. If you ask me, there is nothing worse than comparing yourself let alone your personal and intimate relationship with someone else’s relationship.
Notice how i threw in the words personal and intimate. Okay so let me get this straight: so you are comparing your relationship to that of another relationship where two completely different people share two totally different personal and intimate time together. However, just because they appear to be happy and only expose or say the things they want the world to see as the “perfect” relationship values because they think it is the right thing to do- you feel the need to compare. Is this really why some feel the need to compare their current relationship to someone else’s? It really does sound silly. Comparing your relationship to someone else’s is like comparing your child to another parent’s child. It just does not make sense.
I also believe that a lot of people do not realize that what people choose to do in their relationship is their own decision and belief.
For example, Just because one man decides not to be intimate with their significant other until marriage does not mean that other men can look at their situation and feel the need to take his belief into serious consideration. You don’t know what that couple discussed before they’ve chosen to come to such conclusion. It is not a law, it is a belief; meaning this man believes (whether it’s based on religion or solely his belief) that if he is not intimate with his lover , their marriage will be good for it. Well how does he know for sure? I know many relationships where the decision was made to save themselves for marriage and their marriages ended up in the divorce court. Who do we have to blame for this then? God? Self? The media?
“Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.”
Being intimate is apart of being in a relationship. IT JUST IS. I am not going to sit here and not talk about the “pink elephant” in the room when really its just a big old gray elephant that we all know of and what we normally see. Not to mention how normal it is for two people to reproduce. For me, I need to experience my lover fully before I make a commitment to them for the rest of my life. How miserable would I be if I decided to wait until marriage knowing I knew nothing about him when it comes to being physically intimate. Will I get to know my lover better than someone who waits? I do not know because there are different opinions and beliefs on how sex can cloud a persons judgement towards their lover. Well guess what- sex should NOT be the reason you hold back from the person you love before marrying them- this is just my opinion. Or something as simple as before you can show any type of affection towards the one you love. It may be one of the reasons influencing your decision but I don’t necessarily think it should be the main focus. If it is your belief there is no argument. I am not here to tarnish anyone’s religion or strict beliefs. However if you are not religious and just want to compare your relationship to another persons just because you think it will improve your relationship, you may be wrong. Learn to love your partner for the same reasons you two have fallen for each other without worrying about marriage or sex. Or because you see other couples doing it because “you get to know the person on a new level”
you create that level with your partner. You make it so that when your partner needs you on every level in your own personal intimate relationship you are able to meet their needs. That is how you make a relationship work. Not by trying to compare your relationship to someone else’s based on the other person’s beliefs. Love is different, all love is unique even if you tried to mimic every move of another’s relationship; even then it would still be different. Sex should not be the only reason you are saving yourself for marriage and it definitely should not be the reason you are depriving your sweet lady or man from his/her natural tendencies for physical touch, love and happiness. If you are, you are letting those things be the center of your relationship. Don’t make comparison the center of your relationship either– to me, there just isnt room for comparsion when you are in a commmitted relationship, when you are in your own unique love.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic so feel free to comment below!